Reviews by Citizen Caine

So, it's the late seventies and Michael Caine has moved to the US, looking to establish himself as a leading actor in Hollywood. His first port of call? The disaster movie. Paul Newman and Steve McQueen had just made The Towering Inferno which, along with The Poseidon Adventure, had been a huge commercial success under producer Irwin Allen. And after eyeing up a million dollar house in Beverly Hills for his family, Caine was eager that he join the new-found craze, this time with Allen acting as director of the picture.

This was the expanded 156 minute version. And yet for an overly long, notorious, over-budgeted, universally panned disaster movie responsible for wasting many talented actors and actresses (an aging Katharine Ross among them), it didn't drag. I can't quite believe it, but I actually enjoyed it. That isn't to say it's not a bad movie. Because it is. I can sum it up with one scene ; an ambulance is shown screeching through Houston, sirens blaring, clearly in peril. It then cuts to the inside of the ambulance where the driver is losing control and eventually crashes into a shop window. The sequence lasts about thirty seconds at most. Cut to next scene, a dialogue scene as it happens. No meaning. No worth, for we know the city is under attack from killer bees already as it's been happening throughout the previous two hours of film. Totally and utterly pointless. And that's what this film is. $12 million of frequently misused time, energy, talents and resources.

The dialogue is awful, the effects are deplorable (probably the worst nuclear explosion put on film), the acting is passable at best and yet something, something makes it very watchable and highly enjoyable. Maybe it's the unintentional laughs (random, OTT train crash down a cliff side), the genuine suspense when Henry Fonda (yep, even he was in this film) poisons himself with the bee venom so he can trial his antidote, the interaction between the lovestruck trio of Ben Johnson, Fred MacMurray and Olivia de Havilland or even the honest, moving scene in which Slim Pickens discovers the body of his son. There are moments of utter gold to be found, even for a movie in which intelligent (!), randy, African killer bees are the villains.

As for Caine, well it's one of his weakest performances (not that he has much to go with anyway) and he arrived back in England with only a quarter of a million pounds to go towards his dream home, thanks to tax. But he did go back and make Beyond The Poseidon Adventure, again with Allen, so he must have had a good time. This is far from his worst film. The Holcroft Covenant was so much worse. So much worse.

Out of all the Hitchcock's I have yet to see, this was the one I most wanted to, if only for Salvador Dali's involvement (I'm a fan of his work, somewhat). Unfortunately, like Suspicion before it, this turned out to be a disappointment. It tries hard, but it's too talky, slightly melodramatic and could do with a considerable cut down in length, even if it is only about 110 minutes. On the plus side I think it has probably the best non-Herrmann score, from the Hitchcock's I've seen at least - I'm not overly familiar with Miklós Rózsa's work. There's a lot of innovative technical work too, typical of a Hitchcock film (the red flash when the gun is fired is genius ; I'm not sure if that was hand painted like the flag in Battleship Potemkin.) And of course, Dali's dream sequence which is by far the highlight of the film for me. Here's an interesting tidbit from the Hitchcock/Truffaut book :

"Dali had some strange ideas ; he wanted a statue to crack like a shell falling apart, with ants crawling all over it, and underneath, there would be Ingrid Bergman, covered by the ants!"


Quite ambitious! Truffaut goes on to say that he feels Gregory Peck is not the typical Hitchcock leading man and, whilst he doesn't have to be the typical Hitchcock leading man, I agree that something is lacking in his performance. Not "robotic" as Truffaut bluntly puts it, but slightly underwhelming for a talent man such as himself. Bergman is,well, Ingrid Bergman - beautiful, captivating and all the rest, not to mention a hell of an actress. Rhonda Fleming makes quite an impression in her brief appearance early on in the film as a sexy, man-hating, violent, mental, well, bitch. And of course there's Hitchcock regular Leo G. Carroll in a much more substantial part and Norman Lloyd, the villain from Saboteur!

For me, this is middle-of-the road Hitch fare. I won't list my rankings, but out of the 29 films I've seen from the great man, this is sitting comfortably at number 23.

In 1953, Universal decided it would be a good idea to cut their 12 part, 4 hour long Buck Rogers serial from 1939 and rerelease it as a 68 minute feature film with added forward and afterward to justify the production of "space age" nuclear weapons and compare the villainous Killer Kane character to the likes of Stalin (who died the same year) and Malenkov of the Soviet Union. ("Let us hope that the scientists of the free world will devise the weapons and the craft that will make democracy invincible against any enemy. God bless America! ") Kane doesn't use propaganda or fear to brainwash his people, but a bucket-shaped helmet that numbs all thoughts and feelings. Buster Crabbe's Buck Rogers and Jackie Moran's 'Buddy' are our all-American heroes who aim to crush his dastardly Empire, and we follow their adventures in buzzing spaceships to Saturn and beyond. I haven't seen the original serial, but I would imagine Constance Moore's part has been made significantly smaller here (was she a love interest in 1939?). Anthony Warde makes a good villain and Philip Ahn plays Tallen Of Saturn. The so called "wise elders" of Saturn don't make decisions for themselves but just go along with whatever Buck Rogers or Killer Kane say (Rogers says something, they agree, Kane, says something, they change their mind, Rogers says something and they "change their vote" !) There's some really awful acting from the extras, particularly early on from the men who discover Buck and Buddy in suspended animation, but the quick paced adventure (which surprisingly still makes sense considering 3 quarters of it is missing) provides a really fun hour or so.

4/5

Radio On (1979)
Dir. Christopher Petit

"We are the children of Fritz Lang and Werner von Braun. We are the link between the 20's and the 80's. All change in society passes through a sympathetic collaboration with tape recorders, synthesisers and telephones. Our reality is an electronic reality."

Another film that’s been on my want-to-watch list for quite a while. I only became aware of it about three years ago when my trusty DVD and Blu-Ray Review magazine announced the British Film Institute DVD release in time for the film’s 30th anniversary. A forgotten, British-German co-produced art film, it follows the journey (as clichéd as it sounds) of a man (David Beames) who travels from London to Bristol to investigate the death of his brother who, incidentally, was caught up in an “obscene film” racket. Get Carter similarities aside, what follows is a brilliant study of self-actualisation, regret, loneliness and isolation - when the characters get knocked down in this film, they take a long time to get back up again, quite literally in a scene where Beames is pushed off his bar-stool by an angry regular. Each time Beames reaches a mental breaking-point, his sanity is restored by the soundtrack of the film, his car radio, which often serves as a reminder of the outside world when reporting such topical news stories as the troubles in Ireland, prostitution, the Red Army faction in Germany and the cracking down on the ownership of aforementioned “obscene films.” Unfortunately for Beames, each news story becomes part of his trip. Early on, the Red Army Faction is referenced when he notice a message in graffiti ordering that a militant be released from jail. He later picks up a Scotsman who has served twice in Northern Ireland (and is now a deserter) as well as two German women who hint at having previously sold themselves for sex, in order to get men to help them travel around England in search of a long-lost daughter whom they are fighting over in court with an abusive husband. Each new encounter puts Beames’ mental state to the test. He finds comfort when having a music discussion with a fellow traveller (a cameo role from Sting) and in fact music is one of the central motifs of the film. The film has a distinct English identity, as opposed to a British one. There’s no Union Jack waving patriotism but instead a certain anti-establishment feeling, evident no more so than in the bitter words of the deserter. I’m rambling. Shot beautifully in black and white and featuring some amazing location shoots, Radio On is an absolute masterpiece. It may not be to everyone's taste, it's gruelling, it requires a lot of attention and by the end of the film Beames' character hasn't really got anywhere, but stick with it and it reaps rewards - the ending is certainly something that will stick with you. I should probably have mentioned some of the songs used in the film but I'm no expert in such matters. [/bad grammar]

A deeply disturbing but brilliant work. This had been on my want-to-watch list for ages, mainly for the ensemble made up of Gregory Peck, Laurence Olivier, James Mason, Lilli Palmer, Denholm Elliott, Bruno Ganz, Walter Gotell, Rosemary Harris, Michael Gough and Steve Guttenberg. What a cast! And I wasn't disappointed; Peck and Olivier are phenomenal in this film. Olivier plays a Nazi-hunter, tracking down war criminals all over the world including Peck’s Josef Mengele who has organised the mysterious assassinations of 94 civil servants in Europe and North America and to resurrect Hitler himself through cloning. Naturally, it's up to Olivier and his associates to stop him. It's all a bit over the top and occasionally becomes more silly than sinister, particularly the Nazi convention ballroom scene ("Shut up you ugly bitch!") and throughout the film I couldn't understand why the film had an 18 certificate in the UK - until all was revealed in the finale with one of the most realistic, bloody and brutal fight-scenes I've ever seen. Oh, and there's vicious dogs. Peck and Olivier's performances carry the film (Mason's role is comparatively small but he does a good job and Gotell is a laugh as a burnt-out SS commander (or somesuch) who couldn't really care less about Mengele's plan). The film also continues my recent run of movies that contain annoying kids (after Bigger Than Life and 1980's The Island). Furthermore, the scientific explanations are a tad patronising to a modern audience but to a 70's audience the idea of cloning was mind-blowing I guess (and confusing). Peck utterly owns the film (I'm not fond of that expression but that's the only way I can put it). He's brilliant. Have I said that already?

4/5

"It's been a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Wade."
"I know."

Cracking noir from Elia Kazan that not only offers up a compelling story (a true one at that) but thoughtful social commentary. Mirroring the Metropolitan Police in London, during the time of the Ripper murders, is the diminished, incompetent and ridiculed police force of Bridgeport, Connecticut, led by none other than Lee J.Cobb. Dana Andrews is the highly-rated detective in charge of an investigation into the death of a local priest, a much-loved father-figure to everyone who knew him. The script is ingenious and there are some great moments of tension (most notably where Andrews is willing to to be the guinea pig in the effort to prove that a gun cannot be fired at a certain angle.) but the film is really all about the cast. Arthur Kennedy turns in the best performance as the accused war veteran, Cara Williams is wonderfully full of herself (not to mention a total bitch!) and Ed Begley, in his cinematic debut, steals every damn scene he's in. There's a small part for Karl Malden too, although he's bizzarely left uncredited. Sam Levene deserves a mention too due to his part in the killer ending.
Great stuff.

4/5

A stilted, bare-bones adaptation of William Golding's terrific novel. It bypasses the book's religious and psychological allegories and ignores characterisation of key characters (most notably Ralph, Simon and Roger) in favour of presenting 'highlights' and set-pieces from the book in an effort to make the film come across as powerful when the power of Golding’s story wasn’t primarily in actions but in words, behaviour and metaphors – the “Lord Of The Flies” is barely featured and the killer quote, “I’m part of you”, is nowhere to be heard! Visually, the film is great, full marks there, but that emphasises the fact that the film is very much style over substance. Of course, a film that has its entire cast made up from child actors is always going to struggle (although the kid who plays Simon is pretty damn good), but that doesn’t excuse the complete emptiness of the film. A shame. [/bad grammar]

2/5

Was in the mood for watching an espionage thriller along the lines of The Spy Who Came In From The Cold , or something of the sort, and remembered having an unwatched copy of this hidden away at the back of my shelf. And it didn't disappoint. It turned out to be an intelligent ,highly suspenseful (in due part to Richard Harvey's score) and , for the most part, realistic film (although the ending beggars belief). Gabriel Byrne turns in a good performance as a journalist investigating the links between the resignation of an important member of parliament, rumoured to have KGB contacts, the crash of a US plane carrying nuclear weapons in the East of England, and the death of a young prison escapee. An excellent Denholm Elliott, Robbie Coltrane, Ian Bannen and Greta Scacchi also feature. Well directed by David Drury, the elevator scene stands out in particular, this is a very good film indeed.

4/5

The most terrifying film I've ever seen, bar none. Those familiar with the film will know that it is not just the shocking moments of surgical gore and mutilation that provides terror, but the long, arduous and uneasy wait for that mask to be lifted from 'the face' of that girl, painfully frail beneath her trench coat. But perhaps the most uncomfortable things of all are each moral dilemma that the characters face and the consequences that occur as a result of each nasty decision. Set to Maurice Jarre's creepy Carinval music, Pierre Brasseur's surgeon and his assistant, Alida Valli, lure pretty young woman to their home in the hopes of heterografting an entire face to restore his daughter's disfigured one. Whilst the surgical scenes are horrifying, it's the sadness in the eyes behind the daughter's mask that haunt. A superb performance from Brasseur and excellent cinematography add to a truly unforgettable film that is certainly not for the faint-hearted. In short, it scared the hell out of me.

5/5

A criminally overlooked and practically forgotten film from Michael Caine's early Hollywood career. Right in the middle of films such as A Bridge Too Far, The Eagle Has Landed, Beyond The Poseidon Adventure and the notorious The Swarm, that don't exactly showcase his talents, it's great to see Caine doing what he does best again in this fun caper - being a star. Flanked by, the ever-so charming and suave, Louis Jourdan, Silver Bears has Caine fighting to keep control of his Swiss Bank whilst simultaneously masterminding, or so he thinks, a silver-mining operation in Iran. His boss? Martin Balsam. His girl? Cybill Shepherd. His nemesis? Charles Gray, in another rediculously over the top performance. The gags come thick and fast and there are some genuinely hilarious moments, the locations are stunning and Caine and Jourdan get on like a house on fire. Look out for Shane Rimmer in a cameo, too. Great fun.

4/5